Archives for category: Recovery

I’ve been wondering if I should change the titles on my blogs. I thought of using “Year 2 – Day x” or giving them logical titles like “Drink less, pee less, a win-win for everyone!” but I think I’ll stick with what I’ve been doing. It’s worked so far and I don’t want to break the streak.

As I look back, I realize year one was a selfish year. I worried about me. I wrote about me. I spent a lot of time in my head. Then again, maybe that’s what I needed to do. I’m still in survival mode, which I guess, turns the gaze inward but this journey has taught me many lessons. Maybe I can use those lessons as I turn my gaze outward. It’s time for me to rejoin society and, hopefully, make a positive impact on it.

So here’s my plan. First I need a long term job. I’m currently working with my friend. It’s great but the work is seasonal. Soon the season will end. Also, while this job has been fun, it hasn’t really lifted me out of poverty. I could use something a bit more stable and lucrative. I’ve had one interview and I have a couple more next week. Wish me luck. If I can stabilize my financial situation, I can finally shift of out survival gear and into living gear.

Stability leads to the second item in the plan – give back to the community. Unemployment and debt lead to a financial abyss that swallows too many people. If I can find my way out of that abyss, maybe I can help others find a way out. I hope that doesn’t sound presumptuous. I’m not a saint or savior. I just realize that despite my struggles I’ve been lucky because, even though I denied it, I’ve had a safety net all along. Not everyone does. I want to change that.

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I have the day off. I work with my friend. He’s a gardener/garden designer/landscaper/etc. But today it’s raining so we’re not working.

All in all, things are good. My job is temporary but I’m making enough to keep my head above water for the time being. Unfortunately, I’m on my own once the winter rolls in. Too bad because the job is a blast and it’s keeping me in shape. I don’t weigh myself but I’ve gone down 2 belt loops. Woot! And I’ve learned a ton about plants. For instance, each plant has a cultivar in addition to its genus and species. The cultivar is to a plant what the breed is to a dog. Here are some other things I’ve learned: corn is a type of grass; there are more deer in New England now then there were when Columbus crossed the ocean; juniper bushes will give you a rash if you handle them bare handed; poison ivy flowers when it gets big enough; earthworms came from Europe and were not native to America in the time of the pilgrims; and boxwood bushes smell like pee, that’s why they fell out of favor in French and English gardens.

I haven’t verified the thing about the deer population or the earth worms but the rest is true.

On a completely different note, I’m sitting 10 feet away from a fully stocked liquor cabinet and I have no desire to drink. Life is looking up. Now if I cold only get a permanent job….

PS – I’m building a fire in my buddy’s wood stove. I love hearth fires. Makes me want to live in the woods.

Hanging my hat in Lexington, Nebraska tonight. I always thought agriculture was the main industry in Nebraska. I was wrong. It’s highway repair. Almost all of I-80 is under construction. That’s a lot of road.

Wagon’s east! I’m on the road and, currently, shacked up in Utah. I had one mishap. I lost my credit card. Ack! Now I have to use my ATM card, which is pretty meager because I used my funds to pay down the credit card balance for this trip. Brilliant planning, as always. Oh well, I called and cancelled the credit card. On the upside no one took it shopping. They would have been awfully disappointed if they did. I have another credit card that I maxed out and am trying to pay down that I don’t want to use it. But now I have too. At least I’ve got a little credit on it so I won’t complain. (Or maybe I just did.)

Anyway, I making my way back east and I’m happy about that. I looking forward to time with my dad and my sister and my friends. I suppose I should have done this from the start but I reckon I was too ashamed or prideful or stupid. How about all of the above. I hope I’ve learned something. Actually, now that I think of it, I have learned something. I’ve learned how fortunate I am. Despite the train wreck of my life, these people still welcome me with open arms. And love. Compared to that, a lost credit card doesn’t mean shit.

I’m moving back east.

The story goes like this. I was reading through Facebook posts when I saw that a buddy of mine needed some help with his business. I replied, “Would you consider hiring a burned out engineer?” He called me the next day and we talked for over an hour. To make a long story short, I’m going to work for him until the fall. It’s a temporary gig but it’s much better than what I’m doing now. And I’ll be working for someone I actually want to succeed instead of a bunch of faceless, dehumanizing bureaucrats. Best of all, it gets me back among family and friends. I need that right now.

I’m still looking for real jobs in the meantime. Hopefully, one of the prospects I have now will come to fruition. If not, at least I have a better network back east. Things are heading in the right direction.

Not much new to report. I’m in a holding pattern. I’m waiting to hear back from the company that conducted the phone interview. I’m waiting to hear about the engineering position I applied for at my current place of employ. I’m waiting to hear from the human resources department that supposedly has my resume and will be contacting me. In other words, I’m waiting. But I’m waiting for good things. That’s a new state of mind for me. Now I just need to be patient. That’s also a new state of mind for me. Patience, humility, positive thinking – these are all things I need to learn. Maybe this old dog can learn some new tricks.

Look at this! Two days in a row. I haven’t done this in a while. I admit, I’ve been lazy, preoccupied, busy, take your pick. I signed up to work this weekend but, luckily, they didn’t have enough to do. I need the money but I really need the rest more. Besides, hope keep telling me better things are the horizon. Sometimes she’s even right. So I’m throwing some positive vibes out to the universe. Come on universe, show me some love. I could use a little tenderness.