I’ve come to the realization that stuff is bad. I have too much stuff. I have a house that I’m “renting” out. I put rent in quotes because I’m losing money on it. Money I don’t have. The rent is barely enough to cover the mortgage and there is always something to fix. It’s turned into a big brick money pit. I bought it back when I was swilling my way up the corporate ladder. I think I whacked my face on each of the rungs as I fell.
Then there’s my car. Cars suck. Cars are evil. Imagine how much less stress we’d suffer if we didn’t have to drive. Imagine how much cleaner and calmer our world would be. Imagine how much more financial stability each of us would enjoy. Anyone want to buy a 2010 Prius?
I just keep sinking deeper into debt. It’s like quicksand and I can’t seem to get out. I now have a job but it pays just a shade over minimum wage. It’s like putting a tissue over a severed artery.
And my back hurts. WTF?
If anyone out there has any advice about how to manage crushing debt and unpayable bills please let known. Oh, a cure for back pain wouldn’t hurt either (pardon the pun). Or better yet, are you a rich benefactor who’d like to buy a car and a house in Tucson? I’ll even cook you dinner. I think I’d make a fine manservant. Bill Gates, are you reading this?
OK, enough self pity. Somehow this will all resolve by and by. I’m trying to take the Buddhist approach of impermanence. In other words, I’m trying to truly appreciate good things because I know they won’t last forever. But mostly I’m trying not to freak out about the bad things because they too will pass.
Also, I’ve got momentum. Sure my job is piddly but it’s a job. It will lead to a better job. A better job means a more absorbent tissue on the artery. Maybe I’ll work my way up to a paper towel.
Even if it all goes fakakte, what’s the worst that can happen? I go bankrupt, lose my stuff (which I don’t want anyway) and end up drifting from situation to situation (which is what I’m doing now). Hell, if I get that far down I might even qualify for some sort of help. Woot! Oh well, I know some people who would take me in if I start living on the street. I guess things can’t be that bad. Yeah baby, keep rockin’ in the free world!