The holidays are upon us. yay.
It seems that people go in one of two directions on the holidays. They get totally bummed out or they sploosh with joy. Like most situations in life, I don’t fall into either category. I’m pretty ambivalent about the holidays. In the past, Thanksgiving was a day for my private excesses to go public with impunity. This year I’m not going anywhere and I’m sober. I guess it’s time for my public reserve to go private (with impunity?). Christmas is fun because I get to listen to the Charlie Brown Christmas CD ad nauseum. Otherwise, it used to be an excuse for me to be more public with my consumption habits. Now I’m not sure what it is. I’m not a religious person nor am I a shopper. I don’t even have kids to blackmail with the “Naughty List”.
However, this year will be interesting on two levels. One – I’m wondering if I’ll make it through without drinking. I’ve only been sober for 17 days. Can I triple that number? Two – what is this season going to be like without booze? Will I have to avoid parties? Will I be lonely? Will I give in to temptation? Will I pretty? Will I be rich? Que sera. Que sera.
An old friend of mine is coming to visit during the week of Christmas. That will be fun. He knows I’m on the wagon and he’ll look out for me. I’ve known him since I was about seven years old and he was one of the ones who told me I might want to lay off the booze. I respect him for that. It’s not easy telling someone they’re a fucking drunk. I knew I was a fucking drunk and I didn’t want to hear it. I can’t imagine telling someone who’s in full denial. But I digress.
The holidays are here. I’m still sober. I’m thankful for that.