I feel better. The rash is starting to clear up and, although I’m still not sleeping well, I feel more lucid than I have in a long time.
The weekend is here. I have to admit I’m a little nervous. It’s easy to avoid liquids during the week when no one else is partying but I hope I don’t succumb to the siren’s song this weekend. Luckily, San Diego has a huge AA presence. There are meetings at all hours of the day, every day. I can always go to one of those if I feel the craving.
I’m also beginning to wonder how to let people know. Or if I should let people know. I mean, maybe I should make sure I can stick with sobriety for a period of time before I start saying, “I gave it up.” I’m also worried about their reaction. Will they take me seriously? I wouldn’t. I know myself too well. I’m a great initiator but I have trouble following through on things. On the other hand, maybe telling them will make sure they don’t, unwillingly, tempt me. I know my friends, the close ones, would never push it on me. But I think I’m getting ahead of myself. I need to ride out this weekend.
And I will. I will. I will.